


Time After Time

by kristenswanmills



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-30 04:43:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21422377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristenswanmills/pseuds/kristenswanmills
Summary: Six times Regina or Emma show up at each other’s doorstep.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 192





	Time After Time

**Author's Note:**

> Rated M just to be on the safe side. Mild trigger warning for brief mention of rape/non-con.

The first time it happens, Emma doesn’t expect it at all. Earlier she had rescued Henry from the mines caving in. Now, Regina stands at her doorstep (while Mary Margaret conveniently sneaks around with David), blouse unbuttoned just a little too low and pencil skirt pulled up just a little too high; that’s really all it takes. Despite the anger and animosity between them, there has always been that festering attraction. So many moments where Emma hasn’t really been sure if she wants to hit Regina or fuck her, but right now the latter is the obvious answer.

It’s hot and wild and rough; honestly, it’s exactly how Emma’s imagined Regina would be (she ignores the realization that, yes, she’s thoroughly imagined sex with Regina many times before). That is, until then end, when Emma does the touching. The throes of passion sated, Emma goes about their coition in a different way. And just like that, it’s like a switch flips off in Regina. Where she’d been obscene and open in giving, her own body as her weapon, Regina is timid in receiving. The passionate carnality she can handle, but she can’t handle Emma’s change in demeanor as she touches her body without that underlying tension they always share and instead with a sole desire to inflict pleasure.

And when it’s over, when Emma tries to speak, Regina shakes her head. “Thank you for saving Henry,” she says. “We’re even now.” And so she throws her clothes on and leaves without another word.

_We’re even now._

Those words will haunt Emma for years to come. They haunt her already, telling her she’s done something so wrong even without meaning to. 

_We’re even now._

Does Regina really think that little of her body that she would use it in such a way? Does she think that little of Emma to think it’s what she would want? What had happened to Regina to make her go from such a sex goddess on the prowl to a reserved, almost insecure lover so quickly? The questions circle Emma’s mind for hours, and all she really manages to come up with that night is that there must be so much more to Henry’s mother than she’d initially thought.

* * * 

The second time it happens, is after the Mayor’s Office is set aflame. Without a second thought, Emma had carried Regina from her burning office and delivered her to safety. Ankle brace and all, Regina now stands on Emma’s doorstep again (how does Mary Margaret always manage to be sneaking away with David when these things happen?) to offer her body. This time is less subtle, her hands reaching to unbutton her own blouse the moment Emma opens the door. 

But Emma knows better. She’s seen the vulnerability Regina is capable of; she’s seen beneath the mask. It takes trauma of some sort for a woman to treat her body the way Regina does, and Emma would never knowingly add to a woman’s distress. She knows firsthand what trauma can do to a person; she doesn’t wish it on even her enemy—on even Regina.

Gently, her hands reach out to still Regina’s. Confusion is evident on the woman’s face as she glances up from their now joined hands to look into Emma’s eyes.

“Not like this,” Emma says. 

“It’s what you want,” Regina tells her, fingers gently toying with Emma’s. “I know it is. I see the way you look at me—like you want to fuck me; so do it.”

Emma shakes her head. “Not like this.”

Regina huffs in frustration. “I don’t understand you.”

“You’re worth more than a gratitude fuck,” Emma tells her. “You’re worth more than a fuck to make you feel like we’re even.”

Regina pulls her hands away and creates a distance between them. “Don’t take some moral high ground here. You enjoyed it the last time; I know you did.”

“I didn’t know what it was last time.”

Regina scoffs.

“Regina—”

“Clearly we’re done here, Miss Swan.” She slams the door behind her as she walks away.

* * * 

So much happens after that. The world tumbles down around them both when Henry eats a poisoned apple turnover instead meant for Emma. There’s a curse broken and a Queen revealed—a Queen _dethroned_. There’s a wraith attack and a gentle touch to the hand that jumpstarts Regina’s magic (she doesn’t even try to figure that one out). There’s an oversight in their plan, the portal claiming Emma by mistake and Mary Margaret jumping in to follow. And in all that, is Regina’s relationship with Henry. All she wants is to make things right for her son; all her son wants is Emma back. It’s an aching situation for the woman, unable to to satisfy both herself or her son. And somewhere in all of it, in the back of her mind is an ache for a presence she never expected to miss, is a longing for blonde curls and green eyes that intrigue her more than they should.

There’s the threat of Cora that has Regina torn. She could bring Emma back, maybe; or she could accidentally bring her mother to Storybrooke. She decides the risk is too great (what would Cora do if she knew about Regina’s _son_?) and closes the portal. It will keep Emma from returning, but it will keep Cora out as well. That has to be the priority.

It’s Henry that convinces her otherwise, appeals to that part inside her that’s longing for Emma as well. So she takes the risk. She reopens the portal and soon, Emma and Mary Margaret make their way through. Henry rushes to Emma’s side and there’s a small exchange of smiles between mothers before Emma takes Henry with Mary Margaret, on their way back to the loft.

* * * 

The third time it happens is later that night. This time it’s Emma arriving at Regina’s front door and her intentions are different.

“Miss Swan,” Regina greets. The surprise is evident in her voice even if hidden in her expression. 

Emma pulls a bottle of whisky from behind her back. “Can I come in?” There’s a nervous smile to her face, almost like she knows this is a bad idea but still can’t resist.

Regina doesn’t respond, only opens the door further as she turns and walks deeper into her own home. Emma takes the hint and follows.

Regina settles them in her office. She fills two glasses with ice and sets them on her desk. Emma pours them both some whisky.

“Thank you for bringing us back,” Emma says. “Cheers.”

Regina clinks her glass to Emma’s. “Cheers.”

They’re silent for a moment, each allowing the whisky to take a small hold of them. It’s Regina who finishes first, of course, with Emma quickly pouring her more.

“What exactly is this?” Regina asks once she’s finally not all sober.

Emma downs her own glass and pours some more. “I wanted us to be even.”

“If you’re mocking me, I must say I don’t appreciate—”

“I’m not.”

Regina eyes her wearily.

“I just...I wanted to show you that you don’t have to...approach it the way you did.”

“Miss Swan—”

“After all we’ve been through, don’t you think I can be just Emma?”

“No.”

“Regina—”

“I’ll ask again: what exactly is this?”

Emma takes a large gulp from her glass. “I missed you,” she admits quietly.

Regina softens at that. 

“I just wanted us to...hang out.”

“Well then, _Em-ma_”—the stressing of her name isn’t lost on Emma in the slightest—“Thank you for the whisky.”

They share a smile. It’s soft and pure and unlike those they’ve shared before, really. Part of it is the alcohol, but it isn’t just that. It’s also the understanding. The new understanding between not just two co-mothers, but now two _friends—_because after this, they both realize that’s exactly what they are.

* * *

It isn’t long after that Regina gets framed for murder. Archie disappears and all anyone knows is that he and Regina had argued earlier that same day. Matters aren’t helped at all when Emma uses a spell to see Pongo’s last memories of Archie. The spell shows Regina killing him, but Regina claims it isn’t true. And Emma believes her. No one else does; they all say Emma is crazy and naive to believe, but she still does. It’s this newfound friendship, these things they keep doing that always begin at night on their doorsteps. Emma understands Regina differently now. She knows she didn’t do this.

And while the blame is being placed on Regina despite Emma’s protests, Gold comes to Emma to collect her debt. He wants her to come to New York with him to find his son.

She doesn’t want to—how can she leave Henry and Regina at a time like this? But Gold is demanding and powerful, and that’s what brings about the next time it happens. Because all she can think to do in response is go to Regina’s mansion late at night and knock on the door. Regina answers immediately. It’s as if they’re both almost always ready now for these impromptu visits.

One look at Emma, and all Regina asks is, “What’s wrong?”

Emma sighs. “Gold,” is all she says, and Regina opens the door for her to come in.

They sit in the study, in comfortable silence until Regina finally breaks it. “What does he want?”

“My help. He wants me to go to New York with him—to help find his son.”

Regina sighs and shakes her head. “It’s a bad idea, Emma.”

“I know. But I owe him.”

Regina sighs again. “Then you have to go.” She takes a deep breath before adding, “And you have to take Henry.”

“What?”

“Cora is here,” Regina says, and it’s news to Emma. “She approached me this morning. She’s the one who killed Archie. She knows Henry is my weakness, and that she is, too. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to stand up to her alone; Henry isn’t safe without the both of us here to protect him. You have to take him with you.”

“Regina—”

“You have to take him with you. He’ll be safer with you.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“The entire town is against you, Regina; your mother is here for god knows what reason and you think you’ll be fine?”

“The town wants me in seclusion—which is exactly what they’ll get. My mother, crazy as she is, wants me on her side; she won’t do anything to hurt me. I’ll be fine until you return.”

“If anything happens to you—”

“I’ll be all right. And you’ll return debt-free from Gold. We’ll all be better off.”

Emma sighs. “Okay.”

Regina reaches out to gently squeeze Emma’s hand. “It’s all going to be fine.”

* * *

The fifth time it happens is most similar to the first.

It’s just after Emma and Gold have returned from New York, Gold’s son in tow. How the fuck was Neal—Henry’s father—Gold’s son? It changes everything, really. And it messes with Emma’s head immensely. 

Neal clearly wants to talk to her, wants to work things out, but Emma wants nothing to do with it. Just like Henry wants nothing to do with her after learning the truth. What Emma does want, is the comfort only one woman can offer her. And so, on the night of her return, hours after dropping Henry back off with Regina, Emma finds herself back at the mansion. 

It doesn’t take long for the door to open and reveal Regina, black silk robe tightly wrapped around her body. The sight melts Emma’s insides just a little. 

“Are you okay?” Regina immediately asks. 

Emma nods; it’s all she can do to keep from crying.

Regina takes her by the hand and gently leads her inside. “What do you need?”

Emma shows her rather than tells her that gentle is anything but what she needs right now. She spins Regina by the hand until she’s pressed back against the wall. She holds both Regina’s arms up beside her head and kisses her. It’s a combination of forceful and caring that shouldn’t be possible and yet it is. Here with Regina, Emma can just...be. She knows Regina will somehow understand.

“Emma,” Regina moans as Emma trails kisses down her neck.

“Is this okay?” Emma asks. Because even if she needs it, she would never impose this upon Regina if she didn’t want it.

“Yes,” Regina moans. Then she brings their lips back together.

It’s rough—just like their first time, but roles reversed. It’s all take from Emma and each action causes a reaction from Regina. It’s not a surprise to either of them when Regina’s robe is soon opened, revealing to Emma an entirely nude Queen. 

“Regina,” she awes.

Regina just smirks and takes Emma’s hand, bringing it to touch her bare skin. “Show me what you’ve got, _Em-ma_.”

Emma looks almost hesitant for a moment. “It’s not like the first time, right?”

Her voice is small and Regina knows exactly what she means with the question. “No, dear. It’s not like the first time.”

And Emma believes her. And brings their mouths together as her hand travels lower and lower on Regina’s naked body.

* * *

It’s that same evening, after they’re done, sated and entangled upon the softest bed Emma’s ever been in, that Regina can’t help but ask with a smirk, “Are we even, Miss Swan?”

Emma looks back at her, sleepy, but with understanding in her eyes. “No,” she says. “We’re just...us.” She leans over to gently caress Regina’s cheek and lay a soft kiss on her lips. Then she cuddles into her even more.

And Regina understands exactly what she means. “Goodnight, Emma,” she says softly, voice heavy with emotion.

“G’night, Regina,” Emma sleepily replies.

And even though she knows she should send Emma home, Regina just doesn’t have it in her to do so. Not when it’s like this between them. Not when being in Emma’s arms feels so right. 

* * *

Even if they won’t admit it, things are different after that last time. There’s an understanding, an underlying softness to all their interactions. And it’s noticeable even to those around them, though remains unspoken.

It’s Emma’s constant belief in Regina’s innocence. It’s the way Emma’s hand hovers over the small of Regina’s back when they walk side by side—not actually touching, but clearly aching to.

And then Cora surfaces. And everything happens so secretly and so fast that all Emma knows is somehow Regina has killed her own mother and it was Emma’s own mother’s fault. 

Regina flees after that, afraid she’ll do something she’ll regret (or worse, _not_ regret) if she stays.

* * *

The sixth time it happens, is that same night. 

Tricked into killing her own mother, Regina is a wreck. There’s an aching that comes with the loss that just can’t be sated. She may have hated her mother, but so much more than that she’d loved her. The loss hits like nothing ever has before. It’s different than the loss of Daniel or Daddy. It’s more raw. Daniel’s death had been heartbreak and Daddy’s remorse, but Mother’s death is a new kind of pain.

It’s one o’clock in the morning and she can’t sleep. She doesn’t even think about it, really. It’s an instinct at this point to arrive at Emma’s doorstep. Her feet take her there on their own accord and it’s only a matter of time before she’s face to face with her son’s other mother.

“Hi,” Emma says. She’s not exactly surprised to see Regina, but she also wasn’t expecting her.

Regina says nothing, only holds up a jar of homemade cider.

Emma nods and smiles softly as she leads her inside.

It’s only once they’re inside that Regina realizes exactly whose home they’re in.

“They’re asleep,” Emma says as Regina casts a nervous glance towards Snow and David’s bedroom door.

They take the stairs up to Emma’s loft. It’s small up there, the bed really the only comfortable place to sit, so that’s where they end up side by side.

“Is there anything I can do?” Emma asks as Regina opens the jar of cider and drinks straight from it, then passes it to Emma to do the same.

“I just…needed…a friend,” she admits. Then she grabs the jar back for a large gulp. It’s new, this vulnerability. It’s a side she isn’t used to showing, but Mother has just been killed by Regina’s own hand and she’s terrified of the Evil Queen taking over again—but _refuses _to allow that to happen.

“I’m not even sure what friends are supposed to do,” Emma says. “You’re kind of my first one in a long time.”

Regina takes another sip of cider. “Late night drinking; I suppose this qualifies.”

Emma nods. “I’m sorry about your mom.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I get that. But if you change your mind, we can. I know she meant a lot to you.”

Regina drinks some more, allowing the cider to take more of a hold on her than her own emotions. “I never thought she could love me,” she says. “I don’t know if it’s better or worse knowing that she could, but just never did.”

Emma reaches out to touch Regina’s hand. “She didn’t have her heart, Regina. It never had anything to do with you.”

It’s true; Regina knows it. It still doesn’t dull the ache. It doesn’t take away the years of a mother’s disappointment and lack of love.

“I was the Evil Queen,” Regina whispers. It’s soft, so soft that Emma barely hears it. Regina chugs more cider—it’s going to take liquid courage to get her to admit this. “The Evil Queen was born when someone I loved was taken from me.”

Emma looks at her like there’s nothing more important in the world, giving her full attention. It’s a touch to Regina’s cheek that makes a tear spill, Regina looking down in an effort to hide her vulnerability. 

“I don’t want to become her again,” Regina whispers, the lets out a sob.

Emma takes the jar of cider from Regina’s hands and pulls the woman into her arms. Regina clings to her effortlessly. So much has happened between them to make this display of affections okay.

“You’re not her anymore,” Emma tells her. “You’re not the Evil Queen. You’re _Regina—_and you’re allowed to be hurt by this, you’re allowed to be angry. But I don’t worry about you becoming the Evil Queen.”

Regina looks up in disbelief. “You don’t?”

“Not even a little. You’re a good person, Regina. You’ve _changed._”

Regina sobs in relief, sobs in the heartbreak of losing her mother, but also in the relief of believing she won’t lose herself.

“Do you want to stay the night?” Emma asks. “I’d hate for you to be alone like this.”

Regina sighs. “And what would Snow White think when she wakes up to the Evil Queen in her apartment?”

“I already told you that’s not who you are. Besides, staying up here all night with me? That’s a helluva way to get back at Snow White, isn’t it?”

A small, slightly evil smile graces Regina’s face. “Well when you put it that way...”

Emma smiles in return, then settles herself under the covers. Regina follows suit, the small bed leaving it impossible to keep any room between them. Emma takes on the role of big spoon, gently wrapping her arm around Regina’s waist.

“Goodnight, Regina,” she whispers.

Regina sighs in contentment. Yes, this was exactly what she’d needed tonight.

* * *

Regina awakens the next morning cuddled into Emma’s front. The pain of losing Mother is still there, but the safety and warmth of Emma’s body helps. It’s a comfort she desperately needs, can’t thank Emma enough for. 

It’s that thought that has her leaving soft, open-mouthed kisses along Emma’s jaw. And then she stops. Because this isn’t about that anymore. It can’t be. Not if she wants whatever this is to work.

Emma pulls her closer and nuzzles into her neck. “Why’d you stop?” she whines.

Regina is tentative in her answer. “I was trying to thank you,” she eventually says. 

Emma understands completely. “We don’t have to talk about it,” she says, not wanting to push. But she does want to know. Desperately. She can’t do anything about Cora’s death, but this is something she thinks she can help with.

Regina shakes her head. “You deserve to know.” Then she takes a deep breath. “At first it was never my choice,” she says. “My body wasn’t mine...it was my..._husband’s_.” She uses the word with such distaste it makes Emma shudder. “But even then, when he’d had my body, he was more inclined to do kind things for me, to do things I asked. Once he was dead and my body was my own again, I took that power back. I was the Evil Queen, and I knew the effect my body had on men...and women. So I used it. It was the most effective bargaining tool I ever had. And I used it on my own terms; it was all my own choice.”

Emma ran a hand down Regina’s side until she reached her hand and entwined their fingers. “It can’t be like that with us.”

“I know.”

“You’re worth so much more than that, Regina.”

Regina just sighs.

“You’re body is...”—she looks down to all of Regina that’s exposed to her, takes it all in with wonder—“_Wow_. But it’s not why I want this.”

“And what exactly is this?”

“Well, I guess it’s like you said last night: friendship.” Emma doesn’t miss the way the sparkle leaves Regina’s eyes at her words, her body sagging just a bit. “Unless...you want it to be something more.”

Light sparkles within Regina’s brown eyes again just slightly. “Is that what you want?”

Emma takes a deep breath, summoning the courage to admit it. “Yeah,”she says, then caresses Regina’s cheek. “I’d like more with you.”

Regina responds first with a kiss, slow and steady and purposeful. “So would I, darling.”

There’s a bright smile from Emma and a sweet kiss with so much promise of what’s to come. It’s the beginning of something neither expected but somehow now can’t imagine being without. It’s the start of a future they’ll face together—starting with exposing it all to Snow White, who has just opened the door with a scream at the sight of her daughter in bed with the woman she knows as the Evil Queen.

_Fin._


End file.
